A Booty Slasher Is On The Loose

Yes, Really!

August 5. 2011

A man that has clearly taken leave of his senses is going around painfully slashing women's bottoms with a box cutter. He has surreptitiously attacked several women in this manner, prompting police in Virginia to put out an advisory regarding him, along with surveillance camera stills bearing his image. 

Kim Kardashian

This is the one time silicone butt injections and butt pads would come in handy. Reality star Kim Kardashian and her butt are to blame for this crisis, somehow, but I just don't know how yet. Give me time and I'll figure this mystery out (kidding). 

Side Bar: Seriously, I hope they catch the butt slasher, to put a stop to the criminal assault damaging innocent women.