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When Beauty Queens Have Colonoscopies

December 7. 2012

 

It is important that people have colonoscopies just to be on the safe side, as the colon can host a number of diseases. My mom, bless her heart, had a colonoscopy yesterday and it came up all clear, which was great news. However, the drama behind it was something else. My mom, a former beauty queen, never lost that vanity they all have (you should see her watching beauty contests on television now, sniping about some of the contestants on the screen, "In my day we weren't allowed to wear hair extensions or have implants" - not that she needed either).

That beauty queen vanity is still prevalent in her life to the point, I am not allowed to tell people her real age. The inaccurate age I am forced to give, in reality would mean she gave birth to me when she was 5. While she is glad the test results are good, she was more happy to hear the doctor say she has the "colon of a 20-year-old." She just keeps bragging about it. While I'm thinking, how much did she pay the doctors to say that.

After the colonoscopy, when she awoke from the anesthesia, got herself together and was existing through the waiting room, the nurse gave her a piece of paper about her visit. My mom began to read the paper and as she looked down the document she read the brand of anesthetic they had given her, which was...wait for it...Propofol.

Stunned and shocked, my mom blurted out "WHAT?! YOU GAVE ME WHAT THEY GAVE MICHAEL JACKSON!" which caused all the people in the waiting room to laugh at my dear mother. The nurse, who too was laughing told my mom,  "And you had a good nap too" during the procedure. To said nurse, for giving my mom Propofol, I'm gonna kick your butt if I catch you (only joking about the beatdown).   

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