Tom Cruise's Lawyer: Lies, It's All Lies!

Tom Cruise's Lawyer Tries In Vain To Prove His Client's Not Nuts

Tom Cruise's pitbull of a lawyer, Bert Fields, barked at a whole bunch of press people recently regarding the release of Andrew Morton's biography on the one time star.

The book makes a number of embarrassing astonishing claims, and so, Fields is threatening a $100 million dollar defamation lawsuit. Considering what's been happening to you in court of late, you better settle for $100 dollars.

Bert Fields and his wife Barbara. She's so pretty and dignified looking (clearly she is the gracious one in the relationship)

Newspapers and blogs had a field day dissecting items from the book about Cruise and his crazy cult Scientology, that believes, "Alien souls live inside us and psychiatry is a Nazi science (link)."

The more I think about that is the more I realize just how crazy they are. When I hear the word "alien" I think immigration, not supposed space creatures.

A little gem from the book lays bare the fact that, "Some sect members believed that Katie Holmes was carrying the baby who would be the vessel for L. Ron Hubbard's spirit when he returned around the galaxy."

Yes, you read that right. People firmly believe poor little Suri Cruise, who was called "Rosemary's Baby" in the book, is the child of L. Ron Hubbard, via artificial insemination.

This is not good news for Katie Holmes, because as crazy as Tom "I ate the placenta" Cruise is, he doesn't have the crazy down pat like L. Ron Hubbard did.

Scientology salute (this wouldn't be so funny if they weren't dead serious when they do that)

Another claim in the book is that Tom Cruise is NOT gay. Now, that excerpt I believe is science fiction, pardon the pun.